Light

Today was weird. I was all over the place all day and I was busy, but here I am at 11 o' clock feeling like I've done nothing. I guess it's because I felt really convicted today. There were two things that really got me.

1. I realized how much sin messes everything up - sin happens all the time, I sin pretty much everyday, and I realize I probably won't be sin free until I die. BUT it still hurts every time I fail, and today I just felt dirty. I felt like I let all my friends and family down, like I let myself down, but worst of all I let God down. I broke his heart all over again and it's like I'm putting Jesus back on that cross. I hate it, and I think being conscious of it is definitely a good step towards sinning less. My sin took what would have been a very good day and totatlly jacked me up.
2. I noticed that I'm pretty lazy when it comes to serving others - I'm guilty of eavesdropping. I overheard some people talking today and really it was nothing knew to me. A girl seemed surprised to learn that darkness is defined simply as being the absence of light. Pretty simple but then I started thinking about people who are living in darkness. There are tons of people out there who are in unfortunate circumstances and are broken and feel like there is no hope or no escape from this world. There are people who haven't heard the message of Christ which is entirely full of light, that same message lives in me, but where am I? I am a part of causing the darkness. If I have the light in me and I'm not showing up then obviously something is wrong. I want to serve, and not just for the holidays but as a regular part of who Christ wants me to be.

Today wasn't bad, I did get to hang out with some fellas who I really love and that's always good, but God definitely kicked my butt. I want to get out there and do something so if you have a suggestion please let me know, or if you want to join then let me know.